Laser Beams
by madval29
Summary: A museum heist. A flower. Pink fluffy handcuffs. A kiss for luck. What else do you need?


As Pansy unlocked the door to the museum, she realized she was not alone. There was a man also dressed in all black near her. There were several artifacts that were easily accessible to her. But she didn't want to have to deal with competition.

"Alright, buddy, we got two options. We can pretend we didn't meet and we each get our own score. Or you can …" Before she even finished speaking, he was flipping and weaving his way through the intricate network of deadly alarm lasers.

"Oh, nice backflip," Pansy commented. They were still going. "Damn your ass looks great in that squat." She wondered if she could trip them up. It was a very intricate procedure. "Please tell me those muscles look as good outside of that shirt as they do with it." Pansy was taunting the other thief and enjoying it. "Your pants look great, but they'd look even better on my bedroom floor."

They had reached the last part and were almost through. They were clearly looking at Pansy with a challenging look on their face as if to say "Beat that," but Pansy had no intention of showing off her aerial skills. Besides, she was better with machines than physical stuff.

After they had landed one final backflip, Pansy starting sifting through her purse. She started mumbling, "You can never find anything in these things." Then she emerged with a small black rectangle. The rectangle had a few buttons on it. She pressed one of them. Suddenly, every laser beam cut off. Then Pansy calmly walked through. "Those were some impressive flips, though, bud," Pansy said. She patted the other thief on the shoulder and turned left. The other thief had been standing closer to the right. They seemed to be headed for the Egyptian exhibit. Well, no skin off her back, she could take the Greek exhibit and be fine.

Besides this had been more a bet than a matter of pride. She had thrown in fifty pounds that she could take an entire exhibit. She had been planning on snagging more than one. But she didn't want to step on any toes here. As she was walking away, a hand fell onto her shoulder.

"Did you need something? I'm not terribly inconvenienced if you take the Egyptians, but I do need to nab something from one of these exhibits." Pansy said.

"I work for the museum. This is a routine security check. I'm to test whether or not someone can get through the defenses." A husky voice said. "I'm also going to need you to stop and come with me." The man said. He reached his other arm to his belt to press a button on it. Alarms started blazing immediately.

"Huh, interesting, I think you're under the mistaken impression that I'm going to just, I don't know, come quietly," Pansy said. She twisted her arm around until the man's arm was forced back. She continued in that vein until he was forced to his knees. Then she grabbed some pink fluffy handcuffs from her purse.

"What are those handcuffs?" The man said.

"No they're onion rings. What do you think?" Pansy said sarcastically. She clipped his arm to the bar by the stairs. Then she gave him a kiss on the cheek, "For luck," she said.

Then she grabbed her own remote and pressed another button. The alarms went silent. She started running toward the Greek exhibit. But as she had told him that she would take something from there, she ignored it and went into the Roman exhibit. She grabbed some ancient gold jewelry and a few ancient looking scripts that she carefully handled and settled in her purse. Pansy made sure everything was back in place. She even reset the empty glass containers.

Then she was gone. Well, really she was behind a pillar. She made sure to drop her signature pansy flower. She heard footsteps running her way. After they had dashed by her, she started heading in the opposite direction. As she returned to the main exhibit, husky voice was still handcuffed.

"What you can't slip out handcuffs?" Pansy scoffed.

"No, they ran past, they decided to prioritize catching you than freeing me." He stated bitterly. But Pansy could see his relaxed stance. He was no longer handcuffed. She decided to call him out on it.

"Ha, nice try bud, but I'll just have to catch you later." Pansy then pressed another one of her buttons. The room went pitch black. There was no visibility whatsoever. The man tried creeping towards where she had been when the lights cut out. But he couldn't feel her there anymore. A minute later and the lights came back on.

At this point, the rest of the guards had returned. They informed him that the Roman exhibit had been robbed.

"Weasley! How could you let this happen? You had the flower in your hands, and you let her go! What is the matter with you?" Robards screamed at him.

"My job was to break in. I never promised that I would catch the flower." Ron replied. He was speaking the truth. His job had been to expose the weaknesses in the defense. He wasn't supposed to stop a robbery. It wasn't his fault the elusive flower thief would break in on the same night as him.

"Did she say anything to you? Give something away? We need to catch her!" Robards was still screaming.

"She seemed very affable. It seemed to be more a game to her than anything." Ron said.

It took four more hours. Robards wanted the conversation verbatim. Which Ron could provide, but after repeating: "She said, and I quote, 'Your pants look great, but they'd look even better on my floor,' Are we done yet?" ten times, Ron just wanted to go home.

However, when he arrived home to find jeans in his parlor, a jumper in his living room, a bra in his hallway, and knickers on his bedroom floor. Ron didn't really care that he should call the coppers. He just fell into bed and ignored the body next to him. He didn't want to deal with the flower anymore. He could not care less if she stayed the night and ate breakfast in the morning. In the morning he'd deal with his questions for her. If she was still around at that point in time.

Based on the AU prompt: Your OTP as thieves. Person A watching, and complimenting how sexy B looks lithely weaving their way through the intricate network of deadly alarm lasers surrounding their target. A also make sure that B skillfully, gingerly, makes it all the way to the end before A shuts the lasers off and just walks through.  
I found it on tumblr. Hope y'all enjoyed the story. I kinda took it in an unconventional direction. I had to add in the part about onion rings, as it is national onion ring day.


End file.
